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Before: Sarah with her husband 
Bill and son Tyler

After:  Sarah with Tyler

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In The Beginning . . .

"Sometime in life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself."

- Katherine Sharp 

It’s hard to say how it all began.  The spiral downward and the climb back out.  At some point in my life, through a series of heartaches and heartbreaks and bad choices and unfortunate circumstances, I lost control and lost myself.  I’ve reached the point where I don’t want to blame anyone in particular for what I became, because I understand that in the end it was my life to take control of and live as I saw fit.

 At times I was bullemic; at times I just overate.  I almost never exercised.  Over the years, I lost weight and gained weight with yo-yo dieting.  My weight soared.  In 1994, my weight had reached a high of over 400 pounds.  Although I am a tall woman at 5’9”, that is more weight than any body can carry.

 I was unhappy and unhealthy.  I was the subject of stares and ridicule.  I couldn’t climb up a flight of stairs without becoming winded.   Although I had always loved to travel, I could not fit in a single plane seat.  I was afraid to go out alone anywhere, because I knew people would stare at me and laugh.  They whispered behind my back.   I didn’t want to buy groceries or go to a restaurant, because people would always look and I knew what they were thinking, “What is she eating?  What is she buying?  You don’t need any more food.”

 The more unhappy I became, the more I used food to comfort me and my weight to protect me from other people.  Food created a wall around me, both literally and figuratively, and the wall created a barricade around my emotions.  Although I was terribly lonely, I didn’t want anyone to touch me or my emotions.

 I believe there is a sick cycle that people with all types of eating disorders face: the thing which is causing you the most pain is the thing which you cling to for comfort, because it gives you an instant sensory gratification.  You live for the instant gratification and ignore the long-term consequences.

 That was my life before.  That’s enough about the trip down.  The important part of my story is about the climb out and where it has led me.

      


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Copyright © 2013, sarahscott.com and JupiterSales.com.

 


Copyright © 2013, sarahscott.com and JupiterSales.com.